Was It Something I Said?


Me: “Is there anything weird on me?”

Cari: “What?”

Me: “Is there something weird on me? Toilet paper? Dirt? Is my bra hanging out?”

Cari: “No…”

I was talking to Dad on the phone and ordering a salad in Sheetz at lunch today. Once I hung up with him, I realized that people, both employees and non-employees, were staring at me and smirking. As I grabbed my salad and went to leave, I dared a peek over my shoulder only to find two employees staring at me and laughing REALLY HARD.

Though it slammed my inner self all the way back to 9th grade and falling up the stairs while people chortled…

I’m not offended.

I’m not upset.

I simply want to know what horrible thing I said in public to make the people laugh. I want to laugh, too, dammit. Since my coworkers confirmed that I, in fact, am not walking around with my underwear hanging out, I assume it’s something I said to my father.

Were we talking about butts? Trump being a colossal idiot? Was I talking about my period?

There are very few things off the table when it comes to conversation with my parents. I was raised in a pretty open household and if you know me, you know that translates into “she cursed like a sailor, never learned how to wear pants in the house, could out-belch her dad at age 12, and was generally encouraged to question authority by both parents (though Mom was delightfully subversive about it, rather than being blunt)”.

So really, when you think about it, nothing is out of the realm of possibility here. I could have literally been talking about ANYTHING. And it was probably horrible.

You’re welcome, Sheetz people.


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