I took traits from both of my parents. I’d like to think that they all mean something and are the best traits that I could have taken. Two of these traits, however, do not mesh well with each other:
My mother’s inspiration/creative eye and my father’s direct cynicism/perfectionism.
These traits clash pretty frequently. I can think of and create beautiful arts and crafts, then dismiss these creations as unworthy. I end up throwing or giving away good things that I’ve come up with, merely because I eventually question it all. I think that’s why my love of growing things has survived so long — because I can create things and then eat or drink them. That’s pretty darn practical.
Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate the art other people make and see it as worthy. It’s my own creations that fall under such harsh criticism. We are our own worst critics, as they say. To prove the point, I’ve edited this post for over an hour just to get the wording right.
How can I reconcile the two feelings? I have a ton of ideas just waiting to become… something, but I keep holding myself back. The truth of it all is that I want to be someone who creates for a living. I can’t do that if I am constantly standing in my own way. Maybe the path to success for me is through finding and accepting the relevance of my own work, to stop perfecting and to let things go.