I read a blog post recently on Erica’s site that made me think. Most bloggers have very curated posts. Food bloggers don’t usually show themselves scarfing down Twinkies, right? Rarely does a blogger show all of what is happening. There just wouldn’t be time.
One of the things I battled on SingsTheMagpie, my old blog, was showing the whole picture. A lot of what I posted ended up covering up my true feelings at the time. You’d see pictures of game development, but wouldn’t see that I was being ostracized by a group of family members in that business venture. A quick post on school wouldn’t show my fear of continuing in the education field. A picture post of a hike I had taken wouldn’t show my husband, because he would never go anywhere with me unless his family was there.
You get the idea.
I thought at the time that my blog was a window to my world. It was more like peeking through a keyhole and seeing a spotless shelf with pretty things on it, but when you open the door you see that the house has been abandoned and everything is covered in a layer of dust and spiders.
I’ve been working on being more honest with myself. I got rid of SingsTheMagpie because of that, and it took a long time for me to blog again mostly because what I had to say wasn’t very nice. Now that I have this blog, I notice that I don’t try to force posts anymore. I try to let them be more organic now. If I don’t post for a few weeks, that’s okay, because I know that whatever shows up next will be real and not what I want you to think.